The voice that tells you you’re not smart enough, attractive enough, productive enough, something enough. It doesn’t scream. It whispers. And the worst part? It sounds like it might be right.
But the reality is, that voice isn’t yours. Not really.
It might live inside your head. But it moved in a long time ago—before you were old enough to realize the door was open.
Let’s talk about where it came from, what it’s doing there, and how to stop letting it drive.
Where That Voice Begins
No one’s born with an inner critic. Babies don’t worry if they’re “doing it right.” They cry when they’re hungry, laugh when they’re happy, and fall without shame. But somewhere along the way, you started changing yourself.
Maybe it was a parent who always pointed out what you should have done instead. Maybe it was a teacher who embarrassed you in front of a class. Maybe it was just the culture around you that said, “You’ll be worthy when you achieve XYZ.”
Basically, your brain took notes.
And because your brain is wired for survival not happiness, it built a filter to keep you safe. “Don’t speak up, people will judge.” “Work harder, or you’re falling behind.” “Don’t rest you haven’t earned it.”
The critic, believe it or not, is trying to protect you. It’s just doing a terrible job of it.
What Therapy Actually Does
Most people think therapy is about “thinking more positively.” The goal isn’t to silence the inner critic. You can’t mute thoughts on command and honestly, you don’t need to.
The goal is to hear that voice and recognize it’s not the truth. It’s just noise and old programming.
In therapy, we slow things down. We trace that voice back to where it started. Was it your father’s tone? Your coach’s sarcasm? A moment in fifth grade that never left?
When you realize that voice was learned, something shifts. Because if you learned it, you can unlearn it.
Therapy gives you tools and the space to notice and respond differently. Not by fighting the critic but by stepping around it and choosing a better voice to follow.
You Don’t Need to Erase It, But You Can Lead It
This is usually where people get stuck because they want to “fix” themselves and be done with the negative thoughts. Basically, be free of self-doubt once and for all. But healing doesn’t work like that.
The inner critic may never fully go away because it’s part of the human experience. The difference is, once you’ve done the work it no longer drives your decisions. You become the adult in the room – the calm, grounded one who listens but doesn’t get dragged around by fear.
So, you don’t need to get rid of the critic, you just need to stop allowing it to have the final say.
If You’re Tired of Second-Guessing Yourself
If you’re worn out from overthinking every decision…
If you’re exhausted from constantly changing who you are…
If your inner world feels more like a battleground than a home…
We can help you.
Real, practical tools to understand your patterns, meet them with compassion, and move forward with confidence.
Your self-worth doesn’t need to be earned it needs to be remembered.Ever hear that voice that says, “you’re not good enough”?
Let’s find your voice again.
*All conversations with our team are strictly confidential.
PVD Psychological Associates specialize in college mental health, anxiety, depression, eating disorders, trauma, LGBTQIA+ issues, and relationship difficulties.
We also see clients for a range of other issues.
If you would like to discuss your needs with a therapist, complete the enquiry form on our Contact page and we’ll call or email you for a confidential chat.
