Parenting a teenager today can feel like walking a tightrope. Between school expectations, extra-curricular commitments, social media comparisons and the natural turbulence of growth and change, you may find your teen is under pressure and as a parent, you may feel powerless, frustrated or worn-out. At PVD Psychological Associates we see how much strain these years can place on both your teenager and the family unit. Below we explore some common problems for parents and offer you some practical solutions grounded in research and therapy, that can ease the burden and help create a healthier environment for your teen to thrive.
What parents often feel
As a parent you may notice some signs and experience worries such as:
● “My teen seems constantly anxious about grades, friends, the future. I don’t know how to help.”
● “They’re overwhelmed by everything and shut down or lash out, and part of me wonders if I’m doing something wrong.”
● “They’re on their phone, comparing themselves to others, never relaxing, and I worry about their sense of identity and self-worth.”
● “We try to talk but every conversation ends in an argument or ‘I don’t care’ or ‘just leave me alone’.”
● “I feel like I need to do more; more monitoring, more support, more pushing but I’m exhausted, and it’s not making things better.”
● “The stakes feel so high: college, social standing, success. And I’m scared they’re drowning, that we’re all drowning.”
These are real and valid concerns. Teenagers are facing more than ever: academic pressures, social comparison, identity exploration, family transitions, technology overload and future uncertainty. For you as parents, that can feel like a tug-of-war between wanting to protect and wanting to step back; between wanting your teen to succeed and worrying you’re adding to the pressure.
What we can offer: solutions and support
At PVD Psychological Associates we believe pressure on teens can be eased with three core approaches: understanding the problem, equipping your teen (and you) with tools, and creating supportive structures at home and in therapy. Here’s how:
1. Understand what’s driving the pressure
Getting to the root of what’s overwhelming your teen is critical. This might include anxiety about performance, perfectionism, difficulty managing transitions, identity issues, or underlying mental-health concerns such as depression or ADHD. Our practice provides neuropsychological testing (for ADHD, ASD, executive functioning) and diagnostic clarification which can pinpoint if there are underlying conditions contributing to the pressure.
By identifying what is really at play we can avoid one-size‐fits‐all responses and create a tailored plan.
2. Equip your teenager (and your family) with evidence-based therapies
Once we understand the issues, we use evidence-based therapies such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) and mindfulness-based techniques.
These help your teen:
● recognize and challenge unhelpful thoughts (e.g., “If I don’t top the class I’m a failure”)
● build skills to manage emotions, regulate stress and respond rather than react
● clarify their values and goals so success means their version, not just an external standard
● create healthy habits around downtime, digital boundaries and self-care
We also offer family therapy and can work with you as a parent to help you understand what your teen is experiencing, strengthen communication, set healthy boundaries and reduce the feeling of “us vs them”.
3. Create a supportive, realistic environment
Therapy is one pillar but life happens in the home, school and social world. Some practical ways we help you implement the change:
● Help your teen establish realistic expectations (rather than perfect) and to understand that setbacks are part of growth.
● Work with your teen to build a schedule that includes rest, play and genuine downtime, not just cram sessions after school.
● Support you in having open conversations with your teen about how they feel (not just grades) without judgment.
● Help you as a parent recognize when you need to step back vs step in, encouraging independence yet offering structure and support.
● Assist in identifying when the pressure is too much and it’s time to bring in professional support as opposed to hoping it will just “resolve by itself”.
How PVD Psychological Associates makes a difference
At PVD Psychological Associates we offer:
● A collaborative treatment plan: we check in with both teen and parent about what’s working and adapt as needed.
● Inclusive, affirming care: we are certified as an LGBTQ Safe Zone practice and provide gender-affirming therapy, which means any teen, no matter how they identify, can feel safe in exploring their pressures and challenges.
● Online and in-person therapy options across Rhode Island (and for PSYPACT states).
What you can do right now
You don’t have to wait until things fall apart. Here are actionable steps you can take this week:
● Set aside a time (30 minutes) to ask your teen how they are really doing and listen without immediate judgment or solutions.
● Identify one non-negotiable “yes” for downtime each day (e.g., 45 minutes without screen, or a walk together) to reduce pressure and create space.
● If you notice your teen frequently says “I’m fine” but you suspect they are not, consider whether an assessment or professional consultation might uncover hidden stressors (ADHD, anxiety, executive-function struggles).
● Make a family meeting about expectations: what pressures are being placed on your teen (academic, social, digital) and how you as a family can re-frame them.
● If you as a parent feel you’re constantly reacting (worrying, nagging, micromanaging) rather than supporting, consider your own brief consultation to reflect how your responses might support or intensify the pressure.
As a parent you’re not alone in wanting to shield your teen from the weight of expectations, while helping them grow into competent, resilient young adults. The journey between these two goals can be fraught but it’s entirely possible with the right support.
At PVD Psychological Associates we believe that reducing pressure on teenagers means working with the whole system: the teen, family and environment and offering therapies that make a real difference. If you recognize the strain in your home, reach out and schedule a call with us.
*All conversations with our team are strictly confidential.
PVD Psychological Associates specialize in college mental health, anxiety, depression, eating disorders, trauma, LGBTQIA+ issues, and relationship difficulties.
We also see clients for a range of other issues.
If you would like to discuss your needs with a therapist, complete the enquiry form on our Contact page and we’ll call or email you for a confidential chat.
