Work is a big part of our lives. Most of us spend at least 35 hours a week at our jobs, so the relationships we have there really matter. A supportive boss can make you feel valued, motivated, and safe. But when the person in charge makes you feel small, intimidated, or constantly criticised, it can turn the workplace into a toxic environment that impacts your confidence, mental health, and even your physical wellbeing.
If you feel like, “My boss is bullying me, what should I do?”, you’re not on your own. Research suggests that workplace bullying is far more common than we realise. But don’t worry, you do have options.
In this blog, we’ll look at what bullying from a manager can look like, how it affects you, and practical steps you can take to protect yourself.
What Does Bullying from a Boss Look Like?
Now, bullying isn’t always obvious. Sometimes it’s loud and aggressive like shouting, name-calling, or threats. But it can also be subtle and harder to pin down, like exclusion, sarcasm, or even unreasonable demands.
Some common signs include:
● Public humiliation – being criticised, mocked, or belittled in front of colleagues.
● Unrealistic expectations – being given impossible deadlines or workloads.
● Micromanagement – constant monitoring, nit-picking, or refusing to trust you to do your job.
● Exclusion – being left out of important meetings, decisions, or social events.
● Favouritism – treating you unfairly compared to coworkers.
● Threats – suggesting your job is at risk without good reason.
If this behaviour is frequent and makes you feel anxious or fearful it may be bullying.
The Impact of a Bullying Boss
The effects of workplace bullying can go beyond frustration or annoyance. Over time, it can seriously affect your mental health and overall wellbeing. You may notice:
● Feeling anxious or dreading going to work.
● Trouble sleeping or relaxing outside of work hours.
● A drop in self-esteem or confidence.
● Difficulty concentrating.
● Physical symptoms like headaches, stomach issues, or fatigue.
In some cases, bullying can contribute to more serious mental health difficulties, such as depression or anxiety disorders. This is why it’s so important to take it seriously and seek support.
What You Can Do
Dealing with a bullying boss is challenging, especially when power is unequal. But there are constructive steps you can take.
1.Keep a Record
Start documenting what’s happening. Write down specific incidents, including dates and times, what was said or done, and any witnesses present. Save relevant emails or messages. Having a clear record makes it easier to explain your concerns later if you need to.
2. Look After Yourself
When you’re being bullied, it’s easy to blame yourself. Remember: bullying is about the other person’s behaviour, not your worth or abilities. Build in time for activities that help you de-stress and recharge whether that’s exercise, time with friends, mindfulness, or hobbies you enjoy. Seeking therapy or counselling can also give you a safe space to process your feelings and strengthen your resilience.
3. Seek Support at Work
If you feel safe to do so, consider raising the issue with your boss directly. Sometimes people don’t realise how their behaviour is coming across or affecting others. Use calm, assertive language, focusing on how their behaviour affects your work.
For example:
“When I’m spoken to in that tone in front of the team, I feel undermined and it makes it harder for me to focus. I’d appreciate feedback being given privately.”
If that feels unsafe or the behaviour doesn’t change, you can escalate the issue. Speak to HR, a union representative, or a trusted senior colleague. Many workplaces have policies and procedures to address bullying and harassment.
4. Know Your Rights
Bullying can overlap with harassment, which is serious if it relates to things like race, gender, age, disability, religion, or sexual orientation. Even if it doesn’t fall into these categories, you still have the right to a safe and respectful workplace. If the situation doesn’t improve, you may want to seek legal advice or contact organisations like EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Commission) for guidance.
5. Explore Your Options
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, a toxic boss won’t change. If the bullying continues and your health is suffering, it may be worth considering whether this job is right for you. That doesn’t mean the bullying was your fault, far from it. But prioritising your wellbeing and choosing a healthier environment can be an act of self-preservation, not defeat.
When to Seek Professional Help
If workplace bullying is affecting your mental health, it may help to talk to a psychologist or counsellor.
Professional support can:
● Help you understand the situation more clearly.
● Give you tools to manage stress and anxiety.
● Build your confidence and self-esteem.
● Support you in making decisions about how to move forward.
Sometimes just having a confidential, non-judgemental space to talk things through can bring relief and clarity.
Being bullied by a boss can leave you feeling trapped and even questioning your own abilities. But remember, you don’t have to accept this behaviour.
Your workplace should be a safe environment where you are respected and valued. If it isn’t, you have the right to take action. And if you need help navigating that journey, reaching out for professional support can be a powerful first step.
*All conversations with our team are strictly confidential.
PVD Psychological Associates specialize in college mental health, anxiety, depression, eating disorders, trauma, LGBTQIA+ issues, and relationship difficulties.
We also see clients for a range of other issues.
If you would like to discuss your needs with a therapist, complete the enquiry form on our Contact page and we’ll call or email you for a confidential chat.
