Ever sat down to start something important, something you care about…only to find yourself suddenly reorganizing your desk, checking your phone, or deciding that the dishwasher really needs unloading right this second? You’ve probably told yourself you’ll get back to it. Maybe later. Maybe tomorrow. But somehow, the thing never…gets…done.
It’s not laziness, it’s fear. The kind that keeps you stuck, running in circles, feeling like you’re up against an invisible wall every time you try to move forward. And as this cycle repeats, it can start controlling everything from your job to your relationships, and your confidence.
When the Fear of Failing Runs the Show
People who struggle with fear of failure don’t always recognize it for what it is. It disguises itself as procrastination, self-sabotage, perfectionism, or just never starting at all. You might say, “I work better under pressure,” when really, you just can’t bring yourself to begin. Or maybe, “I need more time to think this through,” but in reality, you’re probably terrified of getting it wrong.
This behaviour can bleed into every corner of life. At work, you might put off projects until the last minute or take on so much that you have an excuse if things don’t go perfectly. At home, tasks are probably piling up, conversations never happen, and your personal goals collect dust. Relationships might suffer because people around you don’t understand why you can’t just do the thing you keep saying you want to do. You might not understand it either.
The Excuses That Keep You Stuck
People rarely say, “I’m too scared to do this.” Instead, the mind offers up excuses that sound reasonable, such as:
“I don’t have enough time.”
“I’ll start when I have more energy.”
“I need to do more research.”
“It probably wouldn’t work out anyway.”
“I’m just not feeling it today.”
But really, the longer you avoid something, the harder it gets. A simple task turns into an overwhelming burden and a project that could’ve taken an afternoon suddenly feels impossible to start. Gradually over time, avoiding this kind of failure becomes more important than making progress.
How It Shows Up in Work and Life
Fear-driven behaviors slow you down and stop you showing up completely in the moment. At work, it’s never speaking up in meetings, staying in a job you hate because applying elsewhere feels too risky, or watching others get ahead while you stay stuck in the same spot. You might find yourself over-preparing, redoing work that was already fine, or refusing to delegate because no one else will “get it right.”
Outside of work, it’s that unfinished novel, the half-painted room, the gym membership you signed up for but never used. It’s promising yourself that you’ll start a new routine Monday but finding another reason to put it off. It’s feeling like you’re letting yourself down, over and over, until you stop trusting yourself to follow through at all.
Finding the Breakthrough
Realizing you’re suffering with this repetitive behavior is a positive step because this cycle is very difficult to stop on your own. The fear doesn’t magically disappear one day. You don’t wake up suddenly ready to take action after years of avoiding it. Change happens when you decide that staying stuck is worse than the risk of failing.
The right therapy will help you to look at the patterns that are your ‘blocks’ in life. It pulls those fears into the light, challenges them, and helps you replace them with something better. Instead of running from failure, you can learn to live with it.
At PVD Psychological Associates, we can help you understand that mistakes aren’t the end of the world, and unfinished projects don’t define your worth. Done can be better than perfect and is ultimately what helps us all move forward.
For some, therapy might mean working through deep-seated beliefs or trauma that started in childhood, especially if you grew up in an environment where failure wasn’t an option. Maybe you were praised only when you succeeded, making mistakes feel like personal failures instead of a part of learning? Or maybe criticism hit you so hard that now you avoid anything that might invite it?
Whatever the reason, patterns can be changed. We can help you break that wall down brick by brick.
If you’ve decided you don’t want to let fear win anymore, we are ready to hear from you.
PVD Psychological Associates specialize in college mental health, anxiety, depression, eating disorders, trauma, LGBTQIA+ issues, and relationship difficulties.
We also see clients for a range of other issues.
If you would like to discuss your needs with a therapist, complete the enquiry form on our Contact page and we’ll call or email you for a confidential chat.