We used to think bullying ended when the school bell rang. You could walk away from the lunchroom, the hallway whispers, the shoves in the locker room. But now, the world is different and for teenagers growing up with smartphones, the bullying doesn’t stop. It follows them home, climbs into bed with them and lives in their pockets.
Cyberbullying is not just the digital version of “kids being mean.” It’s psychological warfare disguised as messages, comments, and posts. And it’s doing real damage.
What is Cyberbullying, Really?
Let’s define it simply: cyberbullying is any form of harassment, embarrassment, or humiliation that happens online or through digital devices. This includes texts, social media, gaming platforms, and group chats. What makes it different and in many ways more dangerous than traditional bullying is the reach and permanence.
A single mean comment can be screenshotted and shared thousands of times. A cruel TikTok can rack up views while the target sits helplessly watching the damage. Rumors spread faster. Lies gain traction. And the victim doesn’t even have the relief of escaping it at home.
In our practice, we’ve seen teens spiral emotionally over things that started with a Snapchat or a Discord message. One comment, one photo, one moment of cruelty—can alter a teenager’s entire self-image.
Who’s Most at Risk?
Anyone can be a target. But data tells us that girls tend to experience more relational aggression; gossip, exclusion and social sabotage, while boys may face more direct insults or threats. LGBTQ+ youth, neurodivergent teens, and kids who are already struggling socially are often targeted more severely and more frequently.
But what often gets missed: is the bully is often in just as much psychological distress as the person they’re attacking. Hurt kids hurt other kids. Of course, it doesn’t excuse the behavior, but it does tell us that punishment without understanding won’t fix it.
What It Does to the Brain
Teen brains are still developing the part responsible for judgment, emotional regulation, and impulse control (hello, prefrontal cortex). That means when a teen is cyberbullied, the emotional pain registers fast and hits hard. Brain scans show that social rejection lights up the same areas of the brain as physical pain.
Cyberbullying also activates the body’s stress response, so cortisol floods the system, sleep gets disrupted, and appetite can change. Some teens might even experience panic attacks. Others might withdraw, numb out, or dissociate. And if they feel they can’t talk about it because of shame, fear, or guilt they end up carrying these alone.
That’s when we start to see depression, anxiety, self-harm, and sometimes even suicidal ideation creep in.
Why Parents Often Don’t Know
Bright Path Behavioral Health report that in 2023, “19.2% of American teenagers reported missing days from school because of cyberbullying”.
A lot of parents have no idea it’s happening.
Teens often don’t tell their parents about cyberbullying. They’re afraid their phone will be taken away. Or they think the parent won’t understand. Sometimes, they’ve already internalized the abuse believing they somehow deserve it.
As a clinic of psychologists in Rhode Island, we’ve had countless conversations with parents that begin with, “I had no idea,” and these are good parents. Attentive parents. But the digital world moves fast, and it’s designed to keep adults out.
What Can We Do?
Here’s what we tell families: connection is best.
If you want your teenager to come to you when things go wrong online, you need to be the kind of person they can talk to without fear of being punished. So, start early and make digital literacy part of your parenting toolkit. Ask about their online world with curiosity, not judgment. Know the platforms they use. Watch for sudden changes in mood, behavior, or routines.
And when cyberbullying does happen, the most important thing is to respond with compassion, not panic. We understand that can be difficult for parents.
We advise you start saving evidence and block the bully. Reporting the abuse is critical I starting to take back control for your child. Also, getting your teen support in the guise of therapy, school counseling, or simply giving them a safe space to talk without trying to fix it right away, will help.
Cyberbullying is real, and it’s serious. But teenagers can be incredibly resilient when they have even one adult who consistently shows up for them.
So, if you’re a parent, teacher, counselor, or coach don’t underestimate the power of being that person.
And if you’re a teen reading this, you’re not on your own in this. What’s happening to you is not your fault. What someone says behind a screen says more about them than it ever will about you. Remember, you deserve to feel safe and be heard.
If you need help, reach out and talk to someone.
*All conversations with our team are strictly confidential.
PVD Psychological Associates specialize in college mental health, anxiety, depression, eating disorders, trauma, LGBTQIA+ issues, and relationship difficulties.
We also see clients for a range of other issues.
If you would like to discuss your needs with a therapist, complete the enquiry form on our Contact page and we’ll call or email you for a confidential chat.
